Because I’m going to freaking hemorrhage to death.
I want to find Eve (you know Adam and Eve) and wring her naked little neck. Isn’t it her fault – this whole pain during menstruating thing?
Or if you don’t believe in Adam and Even then fine – get me the nearest man and I’ll make do with strangling him.
I want to lay down and suffer in a field of daisies and cut my torso completely off.
Hairless, pink-hearted, smooth, troll-like, turkey-headed…..doesn’t matter…today I hate my whootananny.
So since I can’t stand up for fear I may pass out from blood loss I’m spicing up my day with thumb tacks. Thumb tacks you ask? Why yes – I’ve made an old fashioned sling shot and in between that and the straw I stole from the kitchen – any time a man walks by my office – I’m shooting them with a tack. It’s a riot.
They feign shock. They fall on the floor and even fake convulsions (some even screamed). They think they’ve been shot with some poisonous butt dart. (I wish) Then when not one of us women even gets up to check on them they get up and move on….right before I yell….
“Keep moving peckerhead….I’ve got more where that came from and my next target is your crotch – I was just practicing my aim on your butt. Walk by again if you dare. I’m here all day. Try the veal.”
After that wasn’t fun anymore every time they ask who shot them I’ve directed them to Martha Stewart’s office.
The only thing that will get me through today is knowing tomorrow everything will be okay again. The stars will align and men will be safe to pass by my door. Ladies – today you should thank God you don’t work here and you don’t have a penis. It’s not safe. Men are dropping like flies. Martha Stewart is an angry little witch huh? There’s just no telling what she’ll do next.
♥ Smooches & Hugs ♥
♪ Life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be. ♪
♣ Everything always passes, and everything is already okay. Stay in the place where you can see that & nothing will resist you. ♣