Birthday Suckhole Extravaganza Finale...featuring my BFF!

Well slap my ass and call me happy - today is finally here.

It's my actual birthday.

I've had the best birthday suckhole extravaganza week evah!

I don't need a single present or birthday wish or flower or smile or anything...

...because all I ever needed and wanted is below.

In the words of my best friend.

I will never, ever forget these words.  Ever.

These words stopped me in my tracks. 

I literally had to look off the page and stop reading because I had lost my breath. 

And when Jenny called to see if I loved it - we were both still crying.

And neither of us is a crier.

We face fears together every day that neither of us ever thought we'd be able to face.

World domination is right around the corner, I tell you.

I am who I am today - because of my Jenny.

I love you best friend.

I just love you.

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I am here to interrupt your regular BYOC programming with THIS announcement.

It’s Drazil’s Birthday! Everybody sing:

“Happy Birthday to you….

Happy Birthday to you...

Happy Birthday dear Drazil,

Happy Birthday to you!”

True Story: I told her I was writing a post titled:

"The Scoop On Poop"
-A Poop Primer from Exploding Man, dictated from the throne.

She was going to let me.

 Alas, for fear of being banshed from Drazildom on the big day, I’m not really going to write about it. I won’t say it wasn’t tempting though. I’m not one to write about feelings, emotions, love and rainbows. Writing about "P" would've been easier.

This post took me out of my comfort zone. While I’m all about feeling emotions, writing about emotions is altogether different. That takes introspection. There are far too many shiny objects around for me to be introspective! Oh, look there’s one right now…



So here I am writing about my feelings for my best friend. It’s touching a nerve that runs deep. 

I betcha didn't know that deep down I have just as many issues as my BFF. 

We get each other's brand of crazy. Of course, instead of creating a blogging empire of my crazy, I took the ‘stuff your face with food route.’ Hey wait a minute! Maybe I’m doing it wrong…

I digress…. She’s much braver than I am. She’s taken this route. She goes there every single day.

Facing her fears. Talking about the unmentionables. So today, for her. I’m going to go there. For her.

After all, it is her birthday suckhole extravaganza and I love birthday cake.

Over the past three years of being the honored BFF of this girl we call Drazil. I’ve seen the highs and lows. The achievements and the ‘I’ll do better next times.’ What I'm here to talk about today is having more
"I'm Good Enough" times.

Enough

Do you know the feeling? For me, it’s a feeling like a deep contented sigh. 

Where all is right with the world. Like the end of the movie “A Christmas Story” when Ralphie has his Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time, little brother is sleeping, next to him, snuggled into his new toy Zeppelin, it’s snowing and all is right with the world.

He has enough.

Enough.

I’m not talking about...

Enough Shoes from the ho-sto

Enough Tattos
Enough Jewelry

Enough these make my ass look AMAZING blingy jeans.

Enough curling irons (um…I can take those off of you!)

There can NEVER be enough of those things. Ever. Never ever ever! Not to mention, I would instantly FIRED as a BFF if I thought it was even remotely possible to have enough of those things.

I’m talking the intangible enoughs...

Enough of thinking you need to be better

Enough of wishing you were stronger

Enough of dreaming of being thinner

Physically fit enough

Smart Enough

Healthy Enough

Pretty Enough

Enough blogger

Enough cheerleader to your friends

Enough friend

Enough daughter

Enough wife

Enough mother

Enough Mother

That’s the big one right there.  The one we speak of most often.

We are both 100% sure that we must be ruining our kids. We each have a child that always needs more from us. More of our time, more attention, more reassurance of our love. Endlessly. Every day. More. Until we feel like if we gave one more hug, there would be nothing left for ourselves. That we must keep that one little piece of ourselves guarded. We both end up feeling like crap because why is it so hard to just give it to them? Why? We are sure one day they are going to realize we, in fact, didn’t give enough, and they’ll be in therapy for the rest of their lives. Rationally, we know that won’t happen. But we still feel guilty about it. Maybe we could give more.

Being children, naturally they don’t ask for what it is they really need. They ask for stuff.  Newer, smaller, faster cell phones, new iPods, a new computer, new games, books, toys, clothing, shoes, etc. Endlessly. Every day the need a new thing. They need until there is nothing left in the bank account. There is no more to give. Of course, we never really spend the grocery money giving them stuff, and one day, will they figure that out and hate us for it? That we deprived them of the ‘latest, greatest’ thing in order to feed the family? 

No, of course not. But we still feel guilty about it. We don’t give them enough.

Hmmm… who does that remind you of? I wonder where they learned that from? It couldn’t be us could it?

When we were kids, we didn’t ask our parents for things. For attention. For more. There was barely enough to eat sometimes. You didn’t ask for video games. You certainly didn’t ask mom for a hug. Just one short generation ago, kids were, in my family at least, NOT the center of the world. Of course our parents loved us, but they didn’t schedule their day around our play dates, soccer games and shopping expeditions for our friends birthday gifts. They were hard working people trying to make ends meet. Even as adults, we still don’t ask for what we really truly want.

Most women don’t. To the few that do, I applaud you. I want to be like you. The rest of us, want new jewelry, a new hairdo. The latest greatest make up. An iPad, a new phone. (Wait…I really do want these things..crap) But maybe what we need is to tell someone what we really want.

Intangible things. Gifts of the heart.  

I know that's what my dear friend wants. She’ll never ask for it. So I’m going to do it for her.

She would like to be Enough. And knowing her, she’d like to be more than enough. (overachiever)

She strives for it with every fiber of her being.

Well, Happy Birthday my love.

You have what you’ve always wanted.

I have a secret for you.

You Are Enough.

To your children, the only people in this entire universe that really, truly matter.

You Are Enough

You are the mother we all wanted. Cuddles. Tickle Wars. Smiles. Silly Faces. Soup when they are sick. Always there, or just a phone call away (on a bad day).

Right there holding their hands at the top of the waterslide on the best of days. 

Caring enough to honestly worry that you’re messing it up. (you’re not)

Your kids are wonderful. They are polite, smart and well behaved. And they are loved. Beyond any logical comprehension, as all mothers love their children. They are loved. I know they know it.

 There isn’t a way on this earth that they don’t.

Drazil has a secret super power that you’ve felt if you’ve been lucky enough to communicate with her. She projects love with every word she writes or speaks. She has a passion for all she does, for all those she loves. It rolls off of her in waves. I feel it from her every time I open an e-mail from her, read her blog posts or speak to her on the phone. It underlies everything she does. That is why I know her kids know it.

Her love is one of those intangible things. A gift of the heart. If you’re lucky enough to be loved by her, it’s there, at all times, washing over you. And I, as her Best Friend (trademark), have been keeping a little secret of my own. I too have a super power. It’s the super power to see those warm rays of love pouring off of her and into her kids. I watch them blossom like the most precious flowers when she simply looks their way and smiles. One simple act, and all is right in their world. Their faces light up and they beam with pride. Their mom loves them and they know it. She does no wrong.

She is enough. They have enough. They have her.

It’s the power to see in my friend what she can not see in herself. That she is loved. From the moment she was born on this day 29 (cough, cough) years ago, a perfect ball of squishy baby goo. She has been loved each and every day. By her parents, her brothers, her sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, acquaintances, her VERY BEST FRIEND, and anyone else lucky enough to spend just a moment in your presence.

You are enough.

Now, let’s eat some CAKE!

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Ah yes - those really are my two little girls up there in that picture...taken by Jenny of course.

Today is enough.

If I have anything to say about it - tomorrow will be enough too.

Raise a glass to birthday weeks.

They are simply life-changing.