This gluten-free shiz is tricky. And challenging to say the least.
I’ve said before that I’ve NEVER been on a diet strictly for my health. It was almost always to lose weight to simply look better. If I slipped up and cheated – I would gain weight and feel pissed –
but it wasn’t a huge deal.
Now? If I slip or cheat – it “feels” life-altering.
Because, let’s face it – if going gluten-free works – it WILL be life-altering.
Today is Day 16. I didn’t cheat on purpose once. Really early on I read a package of Brach’s candies (my FAVE) and didn’t see anything with gluten in it so I ate them. Later on Rambo brought me about 10 more bags and when I checked online – Brach’s says it cannot confirm or deny traces of gluten so I shouldn’t eat them. Life almost ended. For real. But I’ve had none since.
The ONLY other time I goofed up was Chinese – and that wasn’t for lack of research or trying. I thought I was safe BUT in scouring the net today I’m 99% sure that what I had was cooked using soy sauce and that’s a gluten no-no.
I had that Chinese on Saturday night. Immediately after I swelled and felt nauseous and flu-ish and generally yucky. The next day I got my first migraine in over a week. The next next day I was covered in hives. Even the vagina got in on the action. Last night and this morning – again – I woke up covered in hives. As I sit at my desk with my radio on I can hear my stomach making loud noises – like it used to – pre-G-free.
Through extensive research again – hives are a VERY common reaction to accidental gluten ingestion. Once off gluten – and you eat it again – if you have a problem with it – your reaction will be much worse than when you had eaten gluten every day.
I am praying and hoping and begging that these hives are temporary and due to the accidental ingestion.
So yes, I did get a migraine. It was after the accidental gluten ingestion AND the day Aunt Flo arrived also sooo it could be the gluten OR a completely hormonal migraine.
My swelling in my stomach is much better. I used to be able to sleep until 10am or 11am on weekends and still need a 3 hour nap later – and I have done neither. I used to hit my snooze button massive times before I could find the will power to drag my fatigued body from bed. No more. Today I arrived at work EARLY.
Today – just to be sure I’m not getting hives from topical gluten – I’ve researched hairsprays and deodorants and makeups that are gluten-free. I suppose next is detergent.
They say if your gluten intolerance is very sensitve and high – when you accidentally ingest it – your reaction will be worse. Makes sense. So in the same token – if your intolerance is high – you possibly may not be able to tolerate even touching glutens that you don’t ingest – like makeups, hairsprays, etc.
This hive thing? Well, it sure as hell is enough to make me want to throw in the towel. I mean – ask yourself – how long could you live with hives in every crevice but your ass? Or why would you want to?
I don’t think I’d even wish this on Drazil.
So I sit doped up on Benadryl – and unbelievably – it doesn’t even make me tired.
Normally I’d have had to go home.
I’m not giving up. I’m waiting this out. There is also such a thing as gluten withdrawal. The gluten and toxins leaving your body – coming out through your skin as hives. I could be sensitive to dairy as many gluten-sensitive people are.
Also – did you know that there is a book out there that tells a person all about themselves – what they should eat, what they are more prone to, etc – by their blood type?
Now I have no idea if I believe in this too much or not – except that I’m Type O. And sure as shit – Type O people are very prone to gluten-sensitivity. Of course they are.
Oh wait – one last thing. Remember how I don’t sleep through the night – like ever? And I also sleep with earplugs to drown out Rambo’s snoring? And I was filled with hives when I went to bed?
Didn’t matter. I slept the entire night. The whole thing people. I do not recall waking up or moving or anything and I didn’t even use earplugs.
OMFG. That would be Oh My F*cking Gluten.
Couple other things I discovered are this:
Ragu spaghetti sauce and pizza sauce are gluten-free! This means that with my gluten-free pasta I bought I can sit down with the family and still have spaghetti night!
Anyone ever eat/make shit on a shingle? Dried beef and rice and white sauce. Um yes – I can eat this too.
I went to the candy drawer at work yesterday. Took out two Milky Ways. Got to my desk and googled whether or not they had gluten. They do. They mother-f*cking do. I nearly passed out because I didn’t want to believe it. Who the hell stuck gluten in my favorite candy bar??? I threw them in the candy jar like a pouting 3 year old would - for someone else to enjoy.
My family had a giant roll of french bread smothered in butter and garlic and cheese and broiled to perfection last night. I did not even so much as look at it. I’m not sure you understand the difficulty of this feat. It’d be like Drazil not talking smack to me 24/7. It’s nearly impossible. But I did it.
Mmkkaayyy – there you go. My gluten free 16 day update. As of Day 14, I was down 4 pounds. Bonus!
I don’t find eating gluten-free that difficult but I’m not going to lie – this hive thing is taking all my will power to stick through it. The “thought” of cutting down migraines without meds is so powerful to me that I’ll do it. I used to have the mind-set that “if I eat that while I’m on my diet – I’ll gain weight” and that was never enough to stop. Now when I reach for something and realize I can’t have it and I then don’t have it – it is because my mind now says, “if I eat that while I’m on my diet – I’ll get sick.”
Totally different motivator.
Oh and also – remember I’ve been on an antibiotic for years to control my acne that produces severe swelling. I haven’t taken it in at least a week – and no breakouts yet (normally after 3 days I’d have a breakout already). So if this keeps up – that’s another dangerous medicine I’m off! In just 16 days.
Please – if you know who the God of Hives is – get on your little knees and pray to Him for me. It has to be a HE….no woman – God or otherwise – would let another woman get hives that encircle her hoo-haa.
Last night I almost took pictures of the hives. No – not the vagina ones. The other PG rated ones.
If they come back tonight maybe I will. It’s acky.
You will not likey. Trust me.