Wanna know what I had for breakfast?
First of all – it’s not my fault. My work catered in breakfast today. It included eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, cheese, french toast, syrup, drinks, potatoes, mushrooms, muffins and the kitchen sink.
We were “encouraged” to go back for seconds and thirds.
Shizballs and grasshopper turds.
So much for fasting and no meat. It is quite apparent I have the will power of a tiny flea.
And besides - FASTING is a naughty word in Drazzie land. It ranks right up there with any of the forbidden P words
Jesus balls I say. Jesus balls.
Soooo – Lent also means we’re supposed to give something or add something of value in. I thought of what I could do this year as I laid in bed for what seemed like hours. Leave it to me to procrastinate until the night before to figure this out.
I decided that:
I could give up imagining cutting off Explosive Man’s knees so he can’t go to the bathroom 20 times a day….but what fun would that be? And besides – he deserves it. Cuz he explodes. Duh.
I could give up swearing. I could stop saying “f*ck a duck and call it Larry” 24 times a day BUT “screw a duck and call it Larry” just doesn’t roll off the tongue like “f*ck a duck” does, you know?
I could give up pleading and begging the dust bunny Gods for a magical cleaning man who looks like Ryan Reynolds to appear on my lap and just do it myself. But come on. Imagine a man who looks like Ryan Reynolds AND cleans. Go ahead – take a minute – imagine.
I could give up wishing that I had been born to a pack of wolves so I wouldn’t have any emotional scars from childhood so I wouldn’t have to go to therapy and sit covered in hives trying to convince a stranger that I’m not crazy when I know I really – in fact – am.
I could give up bathing in Skittles, farting gumdrops, my Mt. Dew IV drip AND living in Care Bear Land but seriously – who the hell wants to live in the real world?
I could try to do something physical and give up laying on the couch not moving for hours watching juicy reality scar my brain shows. Or give up adding pounds of fat to Sheniqua by way of Milky Ways and Kit Kits. But honestly – what are the chances of that actually happening?
I think I suck at giving up things (especially physical things) so I’ve decided to add something in (mainly mental) instead. In real life and in blog life I’m going to attempt to do a 40 day good deed endeavor. Every day I’m going to try to do one random good deed. Something truly nice with no expectations or assumptions behind it.
Just good old fashioned good will towards men (and women and children – and maybe even lizards).
For example…I can tell a co-worker I like their hair or outfit
Like today – my good deed is that I’m going to watch the neighbors 3 kids for an hour for her to help her out. Just because she needs it and I can
In blog world – once a week I’m going to do “Pick a Booger”. Wait. That’s not right. I meant “Pick a Blogger”. I’m going to find a new blogger once a week that I love who is just starting to gather followers and do a “shout out” for them. I mean what’s more fun than someone helping people to find your blog and getting new followers? We ALL love that! And we were all newbies once.
Sooo – anyone wanna join me for 40 days? Catholic or not – I don’t care. It’ll be kind of fun. We can report our daily deeds quickly at the bottom of our other posts if we want and pass it on and pay it forward. In real life and in blog land.
I mean imagine if everyone you knew committed to doing one random act of kindness a day for 40 days? It’d be kind of a revolution…and you’d be a part of it.
And just once a week I’ll pick a booger…I mean blogger. And you can too!
Who’s with me?
Have you given up or added something in for Lent? Please share. I'd love to hear about it!