I’m feeling random-y and bullet-y.
So let’s do this.
• I am sporting a massive camel toe today. Like it’s not even 8am and my vagina feels bruised from the pressure of my pants trying to become a part of it. Which then also means I have camel toe in my ass too. Is that called something else? Llama toe? Horse toe? Or maybe it’s just called stupid.
• I’ve always wanted to learn to take more risks. So yesterday I went into the one room bathroom at work – shut the door – and did NOT lock it. You got it. I peed at work without locking the door. It was exhilerating and it felt naughty. Any moment someone could come in. (but why would they when they see the door shut?)
• Have any of you ever tried one of those CDs that “coaches” you through a treadmill workout? Like it’s a CD of someone saying, “Put your speed to 3.0 for one minute. You are not going to die. Get your hands off the sides. Suck it up.” Do they work? I kind of want one but am having trouble finding one.
• The new thing here at work is standing at your desk. I’ve seen it at my daughter’s school too. Have you guys encountered this? We put a person’s computer and monitor up at standing level and they work all day – standing. They prefer it. Same with desks at school. Instead of making a kid sit still all day – the kids are allowed to stand or swing their legs or whatever. They have the option of sitting of course. I guess there are studies that it’s better for your back and people are less tired and more productive.
• I have figured out why Explosive Man explodes 16 times a day. He comes to work with a bag full of McDonald’s breakfast items. He goes to lunch and comes back with a bag full of McDonald’s lunch items. Um – DUH – greasy much? No – he’s not overweight (um cuz he’s shitting out all the calories). And no – I’m not condemning you if you eat McD’s morning, noon and night – because you don’t explode next to my office. If you did – I’d want to punch you equally as much as I’d like to punch Explosive Man.
• I’m about 20 years behind the rest of humanity and have just figured out that if you freeze yogurt – it doesn’t have the consistency of snot and kinda tastes like ice cream. I now eat about 8 every day. Okay – fine – not that many but I’m sort of obsessed.
That's all I got. Tootles Skittles.