WTF Wednesday!

It’s time for WTF Wednesday. You get to list random items that make you want to scream WTF and we all nod and agree with you to make you feel better!

WTF is wrong with my best friend? True story – hand to God. She posted a CLOSE UP picture of a wolf spider with babies on its back. The spider is huh-uge. Like bigger than my ass huge. I refuse to talk to her today. I told her the only way I’ll forgive her is if she sends me 6 dozen white Kit Kats.

WhyTF hasn’t someone made a bright pink M&M yet? Yes – I realize they make custom colored M&Ms that you can buy special but I mean – just imagine – you rip open a bag of the chocolate drops of paradise and OMG – there’s a fuschia M&M in there. Wouldn’t you run around screaming like you’d just struck gold? I would.

My 6 year old came crying to me the other night and I asked her what was wrong. She had just put itch cream on a mosquito bite and she was acting like someone had cut her leg off. She was in that much pain. She said to me, “Mom, the medicine hasn’t devolved yet.” WTF?? I looked at her like she had 4 heads and she said, “Geez Mom, the teacher told us that owwies will hurt until the medicine devolves. Duh.” Um yes. Duh.

I may or may not have spent more money than I’ve ever spent on a purse before solely based on the INSIDE of the purse. It’s a Coach Legacy purse. It’s white. It is To. Die. For. The inside is the famous Coach striped lining. I searched for weeks for it and had Jenny investigate its worth and authenticity. I’ve now had it over a week and haven’t even taken the packing paper out of it. WTF is wrong with me? (seriously – don’t answer that)

It’s no secret that Rambo and I work on multiple community boards. He’s the President for 2 boards and I clerk for 2 boards. It takes time, effort and commitment and you make the choice to do it. While we are in no way perfect – it just pisses us both off that some people say they’ll serve and they can’t even make once a month meetings. WTF is that about? If you don’t want to do it – don’t. If you do – show the f*ck up. Mmkkaayy?

My back is out – like massively. I put it out when I pulled our Harley down on Rambo and I and we had to push it back upright with our legs pinned under it. I’m so pissed I did that because my anxiety ridden self HATES the chiropractor but the normal person that I am is screaming in back pain and yelling WhyTF don’t you just go get your back fixed you idiot!? I’m a hot mess.


Martha Stewart (co-worker across the hall) – with her matching underwear and napkins – won the weight loss competition at work. I want to shank her – hard – in her perfectly manicured small toe that also matches her underwear. WhoTF does she think she is anyway?

That’s it for my WTF Wednesday. Whew…I feel better. How about you?