I’m linking up for Friday’s Letters!
Dear Mr. Sandusky: Guilty as charged. Amen. Rambo (or others like him) will soon be the only humans you ever see again. This is as it should be. Also? About your pension. It should be divvied up between your victims. You won’t need it where you’re going anyway.
Dear left wing liberals who wanted Obamacare to stand: I doubt you’ll be so happy when you get a bill in the mail for your “free” insurance. None of us can possibly comprehend what this all means yet except it’s one more thing the government now controls. Yes – great – because the government has done so well controlling so many other things. And another tax will totally fix everything.
Dear Mr. Holder: you’re fried. Give up the docs. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing…..so whatcha hiding, Mr. Attorney General?
Dear sad old man: please don’t call me and ask me how to pay your water bill because your wife used to pay it but she died and you don’t know how. It breaks my heart. THIS is why I don’t pick up the phone.
Dear young idiot on the crotch rocket: You give bikers a bad name. I want to shank you and break your bike. With a hammer.
Dear makers of patio furniture sets: Why the Christ can’t you come pre-assembled? Some people in this world work shitloads of jobs and don’t have time to breathe much less assemble patio furniture they bought to RELAX in.
Dear best friend Jenny: We’ve been best friends long enough now to have real actual adult memories we can recall. How fun is that? Things like Hardees and back up cameras and Chicago and Ulta and Lola the GPS, you know? You make my heart glow like one of those glowbugs I had whose butt lit up when I squeezed it when I was little. You’re the adult best friend version of a glowbug.